I wish...

It's amazing how many ways one can finish that sentence. Hundreds of possibilities. 

I wish....

And it seems those wishes are constantly changing. Or are they? 

In high school it's i wish he would call. I wish he would hug me. I wish he would kis me.

When we get out into the big bad world it's i wish I had money. I wish I had gone to college. I wish I got paid more than minimum wage. 

And then we find that special someone and it goes back to what we wanted in high school. Wishing he would call, or txt, give you a hug or a kiss. And the big one, I wish he would ask me to marry him.

In my case, kids were next. But it wasn't just I wish we could start a family. It was also I wish we knew why we can't. And I wish we didn't have to keep waiting. Or I wish we weren't disappointed yet again this month. 

What's next on the wish list? I wish he would call. I wish he would txt me. I wish he wasn't being good. I wish he would kiss me. I wish he would hug me. I wish I went to college. I wish I had a job that paid more than minimum wage. And so on. 

Life, at least these days, seems to be like a vicious circle. How does one break this circle? Sometimes a girl, no matter how old, just doesn't know what to do.

Fall is here!

I came to another realization this week...the girls and I haven't done a craft for a REALLY long time. So what to I do?? Call on all my fb mommies and scour Pinterest. I have come up with a lot of fall ideas. And I'm so very excited to do them all! 

First on the list is going to be a tree on our kitchen/deck door. With a tree, leaves both real and colored, pumpkins, corn, and an acorn or two. 

This afternoon started the first step. Coloring the leaves! 

I emailed Jake a punch of links to free fall coloring pages. Leaves. Pumpkins. Cats on pumpkins. Fun things for little girls. Daddy even got in on the fun coloring. I labeled them with who colored them and then cut them out. 

I also have the next pages labled for coloring tomorrow. 

I'm excited to color the pumpkin with the kitty on top. It will be interesting to see how the girls do. Hannah did really well with the leaves. She didn't stay in the lines, and at first didn't even want to color on the side with the leaves. But when she decided it was ok she stayed in the general shape. Hailey had fun mixing all the colors together as only Hailey can. 

I also have bags ready and labled for when we go with daddy on a walk to find real leaves. 

You can never be to prepared with twin toddlers :) 

I can't wait to post the final project. After everything is taped to the window. I'm sooooo excited about this project! Stay tuned for the next post :)

72 days!

I realized this morning that I'm in big trouble. Well, for more reasons than one, but this is about Christmas. It's only 72 days away!! Being my favorite holiday, yes I am counting down. 

But with only 72 days until the actual day of Christmas I am way behind. Usually by this point I know have a list made with everyone's names. Usually by this point I know what we are giving most of those people. Usually by this point I even know what has to be made and by when. This year...

Nothing. Well, except for my mom and dad but that's an easy one. An extremely easy one with the pics Jennifer took last night :)

Oy, not sure where to even start for the nieces and nephews. Let alone my girls. 

I need all the help I can get this year. 

I <3 Pinterest!

I am absolutely addicted to Pinterest! I love that I can find anything I want. From something to cook for dinner, to disposal cleaners, to how to move and everything in between. 

But today I put two ideas into use. Putting plastic bags over hanging clothes so the are ready for our move next week. 

But my favorite from today, was this...

Coloring in a moving box! The girls had just as much fun coloring as we did watching them. 

One of my friends Erin even got in in the fun this evening. 

Who can say anything bad about a task that entertains the girls several times in one day? I sure cant! 

Babysitter TV

The last few months Jake and I have been in the process of selling and buying a house. It has been one mess after another. It has been so stressful. It has actually just been horrible. 

And because of this whole mess, Jake and I have done nothing but fight. If we are talking we are fighting about one thing or another, or so it seems. We have come to a point where we are just done. Done with the stress from the purchase of the new house. We have decided to back out and just rent. Yet, still we fight. Oy

But that's not the point of this post. The point is that I'm stressed about everything. And because of that, today the TV is babysitting. More specifically Rio is babysitting. Normally i feel like I'm not being a good mom and I hate having the tv on so much. But today, I don't think I can keep my cool long enough to keep them entertained. 

I am so ready to get everything figured out and for life to go back to normal. 

The end of a summer

This morning I got a txt just before 8am from a friend, so naturally I can't go back to sleep even though Jake has the girls. So as I'm laying here listening to Jake chase the girls around upstairs I started thinking about the summer. 

There have been hundreds of laughs, stress (house sales crap), tears, new words, adventures, lots of tough conversations, friends and family. I even worked out with my sister in law. 

But today is the 12th of August. How did this happen? We leave for Burlington on Thursday the 15th! That means we have been here almost 8weeks! Where has the time gone?

We have had so much fun and I can't wait to do a post with some pictures. BUT there is also so much we haven't done. I feel like i haven't been able to connect with any friends...Jess, Pansy, Melissa, Sharree, Shauna, Beth, Cassie, and the list just goes on and on. I made a new friend at Ami's wedding (Laci) but haven't been able to get together with her. We have seen family, but has it been enough to tide us over until Christmas? 

I was looking back at a post I did in June about our busy summer. I remember thinking as I was pitting pen to paper so to speak that it seemed like we had a lot of spare time even with all the events we had planned. Somehow time has gotten away from us again.

I can hear the girls upstairs (and coffee) calling my name. I better get up and moving. I'm not going to sleep these last few lake days away. 

Enquirer

Jake and were standing in line at Fred meyer a few days ago. While I wait for the lady in front of us to be done, I naturally look around. This is one of the magazines I see. 

Here's the thing...WHO CARES?!? Why is the weight of an actress important? Fat. Thin. Big boobs. No boobs. And so on. Why is this something the public cares about? 

Normally I would just look right past something like this. But that day, I just couldn't. I decided I didn't want to wear my low cut swimsuit from last year. 

Mistake. Big mistake. 

I had tried on suit after suit. A size 14 was to small. It has been no secret that over the past year I have struggled to lose weight. It took 5 months to lose 10 pounds. That's less then 1 pound a week. Can we say frustrating? 

Ok, back to the picture. Who says a woman has to be skinny? The media, that's who. We see skinny women all over, magazines, advertisements, movies, tv shows, and so on. 

I remember watching the movie Pitch Perfect wondering why it was ok to have a charecter named "Fat Amy". I also remember being sadded at her response to why she called herself that. It was something to the effects of "You are just going to call me fat behind my back..." 

It's true. It's totally true. We, especially us women, judge others. But I think we judge ourselves more harshly then we do other women. And it's all because of things like this magazine cover. 

I am not looking forward to the day one of my girls comes home crying because another little girl made fun of her...but I know it will happen. It always happens. I just hope I can raise my girls to not judge based on weight, or skin color, or religios beliefs, or every other thing we are all judged on. 

I hope my girls grow up to love themselves as well. I struggle with weight, but I try to eat healthy and excersise. I don't want them to grow up thinking those are the only things that are important. It's about being happy with yourself. Being healthy. Who you are inside. NOT how much you weigh.