Monday, May 31, 2010

Sparkle

This past weekend my best girlfriends and I went to see the new Sex and the City 2 movie. It was really nice to go out to dinner with just the girls and talk about girl stuff. From babies, to men, to sex, to work, to families and everything in between. It is one of the things I miss the most about living on the other side of Washington State, away from all my girls. It was absolutely the perfect 'girls night'!

But while we were watching the movie, Carrie kept talking about the "sparkle" and thinking that her and Big had lost it. Starting with the staying in every night, to having a TV in the bedroom. And it all leads to Big suggesting that they take 2 days off each week. Now not 2 days to go be with other men or women, but to do what they wanted to do away from the other. Like for Big it would be lounging around and watching TV all day long. And for Carrie it might be going out to dinner and shopping with the girls, or working on her next book.

The movie made me think...What does it mean to loose your sparkle? What does it mean if you loose your sparkle? How do you keep your sparkle alive even after 5 or 10 or 20 years?

I've heard of people who feel like the sparkle is gone and their relationship with their husband or wife is more of a friendship then a romance. Should dates stop as soon as you get married? Or within the first years of marriage? Or should they continue to be as important as they were when you first meet? Should sex be looked at differently? Should it just be something to make babies or should it be something done for enjoyment and pleasure and togetherness?

I can tell you what I think about each of these questions, but I would hope those who know me already know the answer. But what do you do if your husband or wife thinks differently? Its amazing how differently two people in a relations can feel about the questions above. And I know that sometimes you might think one thing but because of schedules and routines something completely different happens.

So, to all of you out there...what do you think? How do you keep the sparkle alive? Candles and a romantic dinner? Date nights? Vacations? Love letters? Flowers on a random day? I would really love to know.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I can tell you from experience that a 6+ month deployment does good things for your sex life. :) But I don't recommend that so much. You know this was an interesting thought. I think it probably is just doing little things like love letters/notes and dates and stuff. I was sitting here thinking maybe I should do some of this stuff more often. Thanks for the reminder.

Mrs Martyn said...

The movie wasn't really that good but it did make a girl think. And not just what us girls can do, seems like we (or atleast I) do most of the planing. Trying to get Jake to do more of the things he did when we were dating. Flowers. Dates. Ect. Boys, cant live with 'em, cant live without them :O)