Wonders.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. From what to do about work, going back to school, to our garden and landscaping, to starting a family.

As I've said in previous posts, we were not trying to get pregnant during the 2009-10 basketball season. It seemed like the perfect time for a 'break' and so we didn't try from November to March. I thought it would be hard to not think about getting pregnant. That it would be hard not to automatically count the days in my cycle. To not freak out if I was late a day or two. But, to be completely honest, it was easy. Well, as easy as it could be. There was a month that I was sure it had happened. Being 13 days late would do that to even the sanest person. But alas we still are not.

This month is our first month trying again, and thus in turn makes it 26 months that we have been trying to conceive. I'm not getting my hopes up because as history has shown, the odds are against us. So only time will tell. My fingers are still crossed that this will be the month and we will not have to wait any longer. I can not wait to count down the weeks and days that our baby would arrive. And, despite Jake's wishes, post those adorable pictures of the ever growing baby belly each week!

One of the things I have also been thinking about is adoption. I was adopted, along with my little brother and a cousin of mine. And actually, another cousin of mine is in the process of adopting a little girl from Rwanda. I am very open to adoption and would love to give a little boy or girl a happy, loving home where they could learn and grow into amazing people.

I have also done a lot of blog reading of families who have made the decision to adopt and brought their new little one home in just a little over a year. I know that is not always the case, and sometimes it takes a really long time to make a match. But when I look back at all the months we have tried I wonder if we should find an agency, get the paperwork filled out and see what happens. And you know, they say that couples who can't get pregnant adopt and then get pregnant with their own :O)

Now, here is the hard part...getting my husband to be okay with starting the process. I completely understand wanting to have our first child be our own, but it would not makes us love the children any less no matter what order they were born. And having our own has proven to be a little difficult.

I pray each and every night for the strength to understand and accept what happens. And I hope we are able to start a family soon. I might go crazy if we can't.