One of my best friends little sister and her husband are going through the same thing Jake and I did. Only they have been trying without success for, I believe, almost 5 years. This afternoon she posted on facebook about getting more disappointing news. This last month didn't work for them. Under her post, a lot of friends posting what I'm sure they thought were words of encouragement.
They said things like "Everything happens for a reason" "God has a plan" "Be patient" and someone even said not to cry about it.
I know from experience that none of those things, and I mean NONE OF THEM, help at all. When people say these things, I know they mean the best. But it doesn't help. If this was something you had experienced you would know this and never ever ever say anything like that to a woman not being able to conceive.
One of the "words of encouragement" that I hate the most is the whole "everything happens for a reason" Seriously?? Why would you tell someone that? I actually hated that one. And it seems that is the only thing that people know what to say. If you don't know what to say...then say that. Tell the person suffering, no matter why they are hurting, that you don't know what to say. That you are there for that person. DON'T use any of the above statements. Please. It doesn't help.
Hang in there honey. You are going to be a great mother!
3 comments:
I'm sorry for your friend. :( And I'm also sorry if I ever said any of those things to you! I can see how some people may thing they'd help, and really they wouldn't. Thank you for pointing that out. You are a wonderful person and will be a GREAT mom! A MOM!!!! YAAAAAYYY!!! I'm so excited for you four. :)
Rochelle, Im absolutley crying right now. Thank you for being there for her. I feel like Im lacking in knowledge and have no idea what she is going through. I dont know what to say and half the time what she is talking about. It makes me feel so blessed to have you as a friend. Thank you for stepping in and helping where I need it, but most of all thank you for helping her. I know she thinks the world of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Both of you will make wonderful Mommies.
Yes, I am with Esther on most of that! Although I tried to never say anything like that to you - I really don't even think that way - but hope I never did, and will remember NOT to in the future. Yeap, not a clue what it is like for you and others that have been through/are going through that.
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