Yet again...

Why is it we set our hearts on something knowing it wont happen? I have no idea why we do that to ourselves. No idea. There is no reason to believe but yet we still do. Even if the past 31 months say that it wont, we still believe it will.

And then when it doesn't...we are crushed. But yet we do it month after month. It is heartbreakingly (if that is even a word) frustrating. This whole process is. The taking so long. The not knowing why. All of it. Every last bit.

Two days ago my best friend had a little girl, Alex. She is adorable. Absolutely adorable. And I cant wait to meet her next Sunday. Ami is one luck momma!

Another really good friend of mine just told me she is pregnant too. It was really hard to respond to her after she told me that on facebook yesterday. I'm not sure I did for almost an hour.

My cousin just found out she is pregnant as well.

I know that people get pregnant all the time. But it seems like everyone we know is having babies. It breaks my heart that we can't. But it also makes me wonder if I wasn't meant to have a baby of my own. Maybe we were meant to adopt. With this next go around we are going to talk to Dr. B and see what he thinks, what his professional opinion is. To see if he thinks we can actually get pregnant or not. And to talk about our other options, because the clomid and shots are not working.

I almost feel like giving up. I don't know how much longer my heart can take this monthly disappointment.